i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
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