Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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