Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
