Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
