As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
