I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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