Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
