Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize
