i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Randomize
