I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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