dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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