I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
