FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
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