ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
