i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
