I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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