Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
