You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
