there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
