The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
