i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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