im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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