then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Randomize