did you get engaged???
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
