We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
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