somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
