i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
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