Well douche your snatch and let's go!
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
