woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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