Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
