Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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