is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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