worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
