Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Randomize
