I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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