What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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