Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
