About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Randomize