Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
