yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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