I cut my penus on the lid.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Randomize
