You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
