He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
