Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
