How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
