Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
