This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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