i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
