we have pet lesbian snakes
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
