4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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