I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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