She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
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