This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'm too high and old for this...
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
