you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Randomize
