My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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