How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
