I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
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