we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize