I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
