..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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