But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
