What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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