OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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